hello again, it’s been a while

I took a moment of hiatus again… it is because of some personal reasons. I have been sharing how my family has been coping with regard to my father’s Alzheimer’s disease. We have been feeling so frustrated as we know that this disease can’t and won’t reverse over time… The QUEST for finding the right attitude in facing our difficulties and challenges as to how to deal with my father has been really exhausting. Two weeks ago, my father’s battle is over. He died peacefully in his sleep. He was tired.

These days, my parents’ house is undergoing some renovations after the cleaning up. All the stuff he had collected over the years that he valued so much (even if most of them are worthless) were finally cleared. It took about 30 minutes for the garbage men to haul all those stuff in the garbage truck.

My father was the kind of a man who really didn’t want someone to touch his things or the house if it needed some fixing. His attitude was further exaggerated because of his illness. My parents lived with light switches that don’t work, screens on windows that are torn, screen doors that don’t close fully as they were sagging, roofs that leaked, doors that don’t close because of broken frames.. stuff even those that are needed to be thrown out are piled up, etc… All of these made my parents house looked so lonely, dim, messy and dirty. My sister and i tried everything to get everything in order and to fix all those that needed fixing but to no avail. My father just don’t want other people in the house. If we called for a handy man, he will get angry and order him to get out. So, for the longest time all of us just do some of the fixing ourselves but most really needed professional help.

Clearing up the house made a big difference. The house is clean, everything is tidied up, all switches are now working, every light bulbs are replaced… it instantly looks like a happy house, bright and airy and the way it is supposed to be. How i wish my father had experienced this.



my journey out of the storm

I have been feeling a little bit unpleasant these past few days. Well, not because of the gloomy weather but it is because of some bumps i encounter during my long JOURNEY out of the “STORM“. As i’ve shared in one of my previous blog posts, i am in the process of moving on. As far as my feelings are concerned, i am okay, i’ve moved on. Love is long gone and there is no way for it to come back. Trust and respect are major factors in a relationship and if they’re gone, love is gone too. But sometimes, my journey is not going smooth as i want it to be. How would you feel if someone wanted you to spit out all the “candies” you have eaten and count them one by one. They are just material things. All the material things i received and enjoyed during the course of the relationship are not enough to ease away all the pain and the emotional trauma i have experienced.

Anyway, enough of the drama.

These lovely pink roses surely help to brighten up my day…



Note to self:
I am a strong person and that no amount of negativity could shatter my journey towards happiness.

black and white photo challenge: texture

The rose is originally colored blue. I edited it to make it in black and white. This rose is actually about 5 days old when the photo was taken. It is in its final journey and soon wilt. It find it exciting that even in black and white, the veins of the petals, the creases, and the onset of wilting which are all parts of its texture is very visible.

a rose on its final journey

Join in the weekly Black and White Photo Challenge with this week’s theme as TEXTURE. You can find out more about it here on Sonel’s Blog.

wordless wednesday: color slowly fading …

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roses and cheesecake

Yesterday, hubby gave me 3 long-stemmed roses and my favorite cheesecake. Actually, it was an advanced gift for our monthsary which is every 27th of the month. Knowing that he won’t be around on the 27th, we made an early celebration.


A red rose signifies love and respect, white is for loyalty and sincerity, and peach is for appreciation and thanks. Hubby sure made the right choice of colors.

roses and cheesecake and my kitty Star

Okay now Star, stop poking your nose on my cheesecake.

roses, cheesecake and my kitty Star

… and stop chewing on the leaves! Star is always so curious about everything.

roses and cheesecake

I finally was able to take a good photo without my playful kitty in the picture.



blue rose

There are meanings behind the color of roses.  If for example, you received a red rose, it represents love and beauty.  Pink is for happiness and admiration.  Orange is for desire.  White is for purity.

my blue rose – a happy anniversary gift from hubby

I’ve always been a fan of blue roses.  For one, they are not only very regal to look at but also its color is so unique.  Blue roses are made by dyeing white roses with blue dye.  And as i searched over the net, i found out that they symbolize youth, the impossible, and the unattainable.  They are also believed to be able to grant wishes.  Looking back, i guess it worked for me.  Here’s my story.

Years ago, on my way home, i saw a flower vendor hopping from one car to another selling his flowers.  In my mind, i told myself that whoever gives me a blue rose, he will be the one whom i would share my life with forever.  Of course i said that with a big sigh because during that time, i was still nursing my broken heart.  Fast forward, many years after.. surprisingly, i actually did receive a blue rose.

I guess i was just wishing for something then without actually thinking and seriously, i have totally forgotten about it.  I think it was just a spur of the moment wish because i don’t think anyone or anybody would ever think about giving me a blue rose and i never told it to anyone.  The only time that i thought about that wish again was on that moment that i actually received a blue rose.

Wishes do come true and yes, i am happily married to the person who gave me that BLUE ROSE.